I am a wordsmith, and would like to send you a sample of my wares. To whom can I direct my inquiry?

First off, ask yourself this: Is my article really appropriate for HERE? Is it grounded in, or centered on, a particular place? Is it a non-fiction essay or journalism, or at least the kind of fiction that could have happened, if not for those messy facts getting in the way? Does it have, for lack of a better term, a political sensibility of some kind? Is it between 20 and 20,000 words? English words? Because sadly, we can't read other languages.

If your answers were "Yes," "Yes," "I think so," "More or less," "Somewhere in there," "Yes," and "That's not a question," you may have the gumption to become a full-fledged HERE contributor. If so chosen, you will be rewarded with absolutely no monetary compensation whatsoever*, though you will get all the copies of the printed magazine that you can eat.

Send all submissions, queries, and other sundry missives on this subject to: editor@heremagazine.com.

Is that really the only way I can contribute? It sounds like a lot of work.

All HERE readers are also invited to submit items for our Post Your Place and Question of the Month (Or So) sections. We reserve the right to edit submissions for content, but realistically, it hardly ever happens - we're cool like that.

I red yor zeen, and it rox. Ware'z yor bulletin bord, dood?

Under the delusion that we're still a magazine, we print letters to the editor in our "Letters" section. We're happy to accept them on any topic, though we prefer if it has something to do with the magazine and its contents. Send to: editor@heremagazine.com.

These are stupid questions - I'm neither a highfalutin grammarian nor a brainless net-imbecile. Who do I contact, huh?

All other correspondence should be directed to: editor@heremagazine.com.