The man played the piano with three legs

Here’s another story that popped up on Google News, and which caught my eye because I couldn’t make head or tail of the lede:

The ex-wife of a Bolingbrook police sergeant found drowned in her bathtub three years ago was murdered, according to a noted forensic pathologist who autopsied her remains Friday at the request of her family.

Initial attempts at interpretation:

  • The police sergeant was a lesbian who drowned three years ago, and now her ex-wife has turned up murdered.
  • The police sergeant drowned in his ex-wife’s bathtub three years ago, and now the ex-wife has been murdered.
  • The Chicago Tribune copy desk needs a refresher in misplaced antecedents.
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